Here's My Story So Far...

Born and raised in New Jersey, I have developed a distinct accent, love it or hate it personality and a judgmental palate on what "good" pizza is. I am blessed to be part of a close family unit that is filled with unconditional love. My friends have been and will always be a significant part of my life and my husband Jim has put up with my shenanigans for over 20 years.

I am a proud New York Yankees and JETS fan living in New England. I thoroughly enjoy watching sports and taking a game in. Even if it means attending a rival franchise stadium when my team isn't playing. I can't deny Fenway in Boston is my second favorite baseball stadium - behind the Bronx Bombers of course.

Besides sports, I love to travel and have had the good fortune to visit and live in some wonderful places across the globe. Exploring culture, food, and sites are privileges that enrich my curiosity, empathy, humility and knowledge.

I also love to bake. Truth be told, I contemplate starting a bakery business everyday. But between you and me, I am not ready to add something to my plate. However, I keep this door open reminding me of future opportunities. The world is a canvas for all of us to paint, or in my case a cupcake to bake.

My husband Jim and I met when I was in college eons ago. We have been through many life challenges and wonderful experiences with plenty more to come. He is my best friend and a significant part of my life. I am lucky to have such a strong supportive partner, a fulfilling career as a product development scientist, a wonderful family, fantastic dependable friends, a warm home and a published book. What I don't have is a child by choice.

I was sixteen years old when I realized I did not want to have children. I know some people may think that’s a young age for a life-changing realization, but I tapped deep inside to understand myself and what made me happy. Was having a child a life opportunity that I could not let pass by or was it preventing me from experiencing a life I felt was passing me by?

From the very beginning, I knew child-rearing came with constant variables that could prevent new opportunities I was or would be willing to take.

And no, I didn’t have all those answers at sixteen, but I knew I had the right to choose for myself. A life with a child was not the choice. I wasn’t destined to be a mom. No biological clock ticked and there was no fear my life would not be fulfilled. Instead, I chose to focus on what was important to me and the responsibility to define what a fulfilled life is.

My latest projects

Milk Drunk: What to Expect When You're Not Expecting

Published Author - Say What?

I never thought I would become an author. Throughout school, I was always good at math and science while brutally awful at history and english. Writing this book has been an amazing journey, one where I learned how to become an author and push myself to accomplish a new challenge.

When I say I had no idea what went into writing a book, I truly mean it. I dove head first into this process, completely blind with zero expectations anyone would believe in my story. Even if my story was compelling, my hot mess manuscript would show inexperience and clearly too complicated and risky to take on. To my surprise, someone felt the risk was worth it. Indigo River Publishing saw through my inexperience and went all in. They dedicated their resources to my voice while I was determined to learn the necessary steps to become an author.

I started writing my manuscript in 2020, signed a contract with Indigo River Publishing in 2021, thoroughly rewrote my manuscript four times and painstakingly went through seven rounds of intense edits. And that was just the beginning.

The truth is, I believed in my story, Indigo River Publishing believed in me and now I believe I am a writer.

For more insights around the process I took to write the book, have it published and the roles Indigo River Publishing had, check out my blog "What to expect..." located on this site.

To learn more about Indigo River Publishing, check out their link below.

https://indigoriverpublishing.com/

What is Milk Drunk?

What does the title mean? Clearly, what to expect when you are not expecting is self explanatory. Milk Drunk however can have a blurred or unknown meaning. I chose the main title Milk Drunk for a couple reasons.

Milk Drunk is a saying some use when an infant or toddler drinks milk to the extent of utter euphoria or intoxication state. The look of content, relaxation and happiness on their faces is a testimonial towards simple moments we should focus on.
When a baby tends to get milk drunk, little drips of milk dribble down their chin while passed out. In my association, the dribble refers to the nonsense, judgement, outrage and even encouragement I experience when discussing and defending my child-free decision. Similar to alcohol intoxication, some conversations I encountered were seemingly not comprehendible, exhausting and simply put -dribble. An attribute that highlights how extremely drunk society is on its own belief around women without children.

What is the central message? Identifying who you are and remaining true to yourself will help define your life. And though this book is focused around children, the tone and messaging is relatable to life in general. When dealing with the pressures from society, no matter if the topics revolve around children, marriage, sexual orientation, culture, or even career path, we owe it to ourselves to remain authentically true.

Some of you may have been exposed to a typical personal group setting introduction, "Hi, my name is Jane Doe. I have 2 children and love yoga." But what happens when you don't have children? Your introduction can have some amazing fun facts, but there will always be someone bypassing those attributes and wondering if you have children.

If you’ve made the decision to remain child-free -whether it be the timing, medical issues or grief from losing a child - it is good to start preparing answers now. The moment you state, “I don’t have children,” you’ll face an awkward pause as the person questioning you determines why and how they will react.

Is it because you can’t have children? That reasoning garners an empathetic response accompanied with a head tilt, a gentle touch on your arm for support and a slow closing of the eyes to reassure you everything will be okay.

Is it because you are young and want to wait? That reasoning receives an encouraging response, followed with the spontaneous laugh and a dismissive hand wave emphasizing time is on your side.

Is it because you chose to not have children? That response can go in multiple directions. You might get a gentle touch on the arm showing pride or a maniacal laugh indicating you’ll change your mind. You might also get the angered confrontation, the inquisitive conversationalist, the supportive hug, or even the lost soul looking for answers.

With any direction, reason, or reaction, the most important thing to remember is to remain true to yourself and your decision.

What is this book not about?

There will be no lectures, debates or lengthy details expressing my opinion if someone should have a child. If you are looking for someone or something to provide guidance during your internal child limbo debate, then I suggest you look within your heart.

This book is not an outlet for bashing parents or children. I’m simply sharing my personal experiences with people and their reactions to my non-baby mama journey.

Lastly, while some of the experiences I discuss involve sensitive topics, I am in no way attacking these beliefs, situations or ways of life.